a stupid bet
by popsie
Summary: Darcy's absence from her own bed leads to a harmless bet undertaken throughout the Tower on who's bed it is she's warming and the answer isn't as straightforward as previously thought. (WinterSheildShock with multiple background characters)


Darcy groaned as she mistimed her block and Clint's fingers were able to dig into her neck, easily applying pressure and bringing her to her knees without a second thought. She swore under her breath, forgetting to move her knees out and Clint had her pinned, face down on the mat in another breath. Her arms were trapped behind her neck and he'd hooked his elbows around her ankles. The burn on her muscles made her whine.

"Fuck you," Darcy said but it came out mushy and garbled as she could hardly move with the archer sat on her back. She could feel him chuckling and it made her huff in annoyance. "I told you I was super sore today, you asshole."

"The bad guys don't give a crap if you've pulled a muscle or broken a nail, Darce," he told her fondly as she struggled against him. Her long sleeve shirt moved with her, revealing her wrists and hips. "Okay, what did you do wrong this time?" Clint asked, getting up from off of her and letting her arms go. As they slunk back to her sides, Clint spied two blossoming twin bruises on her forearms and redness on her hipbone.

Darcy remained face down. "I missed my block," she muttered. Clint flicked her arse and lifted her shirt further to inspect her hip. They were too comfortable around each other.

"No. You're distracted. You've got that wispy look on your face, like when Rogers is in the room," he teased, rolling away from her half-hearted attempts to punch him in the arm. "Speaking of... what's with the bruises babe? I got some SHIELD lackey to beat into shape?" Clint was grinning maniacally as he walked around the mat, stretching out his arms as Darcy pulled herself to her feet.

"I do not _wisp_ when Steve is around," she muttered, embarrassed as she tugged her shirt down over her hips and the sleeves over her fingertips. "And I like it a little rough, so what? No harm."

"I can practically see you mentally flinging your panties off of your body. So... who was the lucky bastard? I'd joke about 'Mr-All-American' but he's stolen Nat away for something in Mexico. So, who rocked your world so good last night that you're daydreaming about it now."

"Shut up, birdbrain," she scowled, hoping that the blush on her cheeks could be blamed on the physical exertion. "And never say the word 'panties' in my presence ever again. And stop asking about my sex life."

Clint's eyes lit up and he clapped his hands. "Aha, so no come back about your super-soldier fantasies! But that is where I stumble..." He looked over at her, circling her as he paced around the mat.

"You?" Darcy said sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest. "A world-class spy. Stumble? Don't make me laugh."

Clint held up his hands, smirking as they settled into facing each other, ready for another round. "Because that doesn't sound like Mr America. There's only one person who only calls me 'birdbrain'. That sounds very much like it came straight from the mouth of the Winter Soldier. But why would you, sweet little Darcy Lewis, be picking up the idioms of a man like Barnes?"

Darcy made a noise in the back of her throat and took the offensive, trying to remember all of the lessons on thinking ahead and Natasha's advice about how Clint moved.

"Answer the question, Darce. Who was your bedmate last night?"

She swung her left arm up, anticipating the force of Clint's forearm against hers but she was already moving her feet, ducking out of the way of his hand and kicking at his knee, just like Natasha had suggested once.

"You're playing dirty," the archer said, his breathing only slightly laboured as his weaker knee buckled and he was forced to spring back and retake his position.

Darcy swung her head, making her ponytail whip back and she grinned. "You're the one bringing outside influences into training."

"So I was right! You're dabbling in both American and Soviet pies! Any Darcy-sandwiches?" A jab followed by a kick brought Darcy to her knees and she was forced to think hard about her options. "You could ask me how we do the horizontal mambo. More limbs when there's three. Takes a bit of practice." One swift punch to Clint's unguarded crotch brought him down to her level.

"Oof," he groaned, cupping himself and folding inward on the mat as Darcy caught her breath. "No fair babe."

"Your own fault, using all this crappy terminology. You were the one who said no talking about other stuff when training," she reminded him as he panted through the pain and struggled to sit up. Darcy couldn't keep the grin off of her face.

"That was a rule for you! _And _crotch punching is _not allowed_!" he retaliated. "I was just asking since we're besties and I tell you everything," Clint pouted.

Darcy laughed. They were 'besties' and sometimes against her own will Clint did tell her too much about his own bedroom antics. The fact that Hawkeye had Laura and Natasha and The Black Widow had Laura and Clint wasn't a secret but it wasn't shouted from the rooftops and told to every new SI or SHIELD recruit.

"Well go on then. Ask me properly," she ordered and Clint's gaze faltered.

"Really? Cause Laura was the one pushing- I, I never really-" Darcy levelled him with her best stare, a look she had perfected when wrangling Jane from her lab. "You sleeping with Captain America?" he said quickly, biting the bullet and blurting out the question.

Darcy remained impassive. She knew Clint was asking out of his own curiosity. Laura was one of her closest friends and knew how to get what she wanted without going through others. Its how she had managed to remain in a healthy three-way relationship with two spies.

"How about the Winter Soldier?"

Her expression didn't change.

Clint nodded to himself and stood up. "Okay. They can't say I didn't try. I'll just say it was some idiot from HR. Cool down on the treadmill and then it's your turn to buy the coffee," he told her already fiddling with the settings of one of the state-of-the-art machines, leaving Darcy to groan and flop back onto the mat. She hated running with a passion.

It was one of the things Darcy loved about Clint Barton. He knew when to push and when to relent. He was also a carbon copy of her in terms of an unhealthy dependency on caffeine and a dirty, wicked sense of humour.

"Get that pretty little ass on this machine or I will extend the training by an hour and have to call medical to cart you out of here!"

He was also one of the main reasons she had been forced to take up stress-baking. It was either bash out several dozen elaborate cupcakes or strangle him in his sleep.

* * *

Jane had made a breakthrough in her research by the time Darcy had come back from her coffee date with Clint and had put her foot down. After dragging Jane away from her lab, into her shower and then into her bed, Darcy was free to tidy up the lab without worry.

Jane shared the fifty-third floor with Bruce and their labs were opposite ends of the floor.

Unlike Jane and Darcy's lab, which had papers and blankets, empty coffee cups and pop tart wrapper strewed around when Jane was in a Science! zone, Bruce kept his spotless at all times. Darcy tidied after her friend, catalogued her data and put away her equipment before venturing over to Bruce's lab.

Soft jazz music was playing over the speakers and the man in question was sitting in front of a holoscreen, his eyes slowly blinking as he looked over the figures displayed in front of him.

"Hi Doc," she said softly and Bruce only jumped a little. Darcy wasn't ignorant of Bruce's ability to rip her in half if the Other Guy showed up but she didn't let that dictate how she acted around the physicist. "D'ya wanna herbal tea?"

Bruce turned to see Darcy holding out a large mug of steaming herbal tea with a bright smile on her face. Bruce smiled in return and happily accepted the offer. He was used to Darcy popping in to take care of him. It seemed to be engrained in her. Darcy made sure that Jane, Bruce and sometimes Tony slept, ate, washed and did something other than Science! without a second thought.

"Hi," he said, just as softly as she had. "Did you have training again this morning?"

Darcy made a noise in the back of her throat as she hoisted herself up onto the workbench. "I never want to see Clint Barton again for at least twelve hours."

Bruce chuckled into his mug. "What did he do today?" he inquired. He liked listening to her and Darcy had a way with words which made even the most boring of stories fun and humorous.

Darcy didn't need any more prompting, she launched into an over-dramatic recount of the gruelling warm-up and sparring session she'd been forced to do. "This is all because Nat's out and Laura's being super-cool at that Italian conference thing," she groaned, a feeling of happiness blooming in her chest when Bruce laughed.

"I agree that he doesn't do well when both of them are gone," Bruce conceded, setting down his mug carefully.

"Yeah! He's been giving me the Spanish Inquisition all morning and it's not like I can go tell Nat or Laura and make them tell him off. They're both gone for at least another few days and there is only so much I can handle," she cried out, making Bruce chuckle.

"What is he interrogating you about?" Bruce asked politely.

"I've got some stupid bruises," Darcy explained, pulling up her sleeves before she could think. She was so at ease around Bruce that she subconsciously did not even think. Darcy squeaked and her eyes widened when she realised what she'd done.

Bruce caught her hands before she could hide her wrists again. He gently ran the pad of his thumb over the purple. "Darcy, these look like handprints. Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?"

"I'm fine! I swear," she said quickly, tugging uselessly trying to get her hands back. She hadn't realised how much she talked with them and so her fingers were moving in his grip, trying to get her point across.

"Darcy, you know both me and the Other Guy care about you, and I know you're doing well in your self-defence lessons but if someone is taking advantage of you or threatening you then you need to tell me," Bruce said with so much sincerity and authority that Darcy sat bolt upright out of habit.

Her cheek darkened and she avoided his intense, slightly green looking stare. "Please, Bruce. This is a little embarrassing. " She could feel her cheeks darkening. "I promise you no-one hurt me. I asked them to do it..." she trailed off, wishing that the workbench would be swallowed up by the floor and her with it.

Bruce dropped her hands and took a step back. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck as he nodded to himself. "Do you promise."

"I'm a big girl Doc. I asked and they agreed. No-one hurt me. Promise. But I know exactly who to come to if someone even looks in my direction with any kind of stink eye," she joked. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Huh?" he blinked at the change in topic. "I had the fettuccini Pepper made last night," he told her after scratching his head to think.

Darcy groaned and slid off of the workbench. "Pepper made that on Tuesday Bruce. Its Thursday morning."

"Oh. Is it?"

Darcy nodded with an easy smile. Bruce and Jane were more similar than they ever admitted. "Come on. We'll go to the restaurant and you can tell me about your science and I can show you the security footage of Tony slipping in some oil yesterday. It was hilarious," she told him, already walking him out of his lab. "FRIDAY, close the labs and seal this floor under the 'science wrangled' protocol until tomorrow morning or unless its an actual emergency," she ordered the AI.

"Will do, Miss Lewis," came the reply as the lights dimmed and the elevator doors opened for the pair. "I've told the restaurant to be expecting you."

Darcy smiled up at the ceiling. "You're my favourite FRIDAY," she said as the car descended the floors to the in-house five-star restaurant Tony had opened for SI employees and the public on the second floor.

"Likewise, Miss Lewis."

* * *

"LEWIS!"

Darcy finished her after-dinner espresso with a roll of her eyes.

The restaurant had seated herself and Bruce in one of the Avenger's private booths at the back of the restaurant. They could still be seen by the other patrons but they were tucked away out of the general bustle of the floor. A flash of a camera lit up the room for a second as Tony Stark strode through the tables, making a beeline for them.

"It was a nice lunch," Bruce sighed as he finished his lemon sorbet. "I think this is the longest we've gone without interruption before."

Darcy's lips twitched. "Then statistically speaking, the next time we come for lunch, we should be able to make it to after deserts before something happens."

"Mr Stark, sir," the maître d' said as he tried to stop the storming billionaire from crashing his way through the tables to Bruce and Darcy. "I can have your lunch ready to go in ten minutes or a table ready in two," he said but Tony brushed him off, finally reaching Darcy and Bruce's table. The entire restaurant, from employees to the public who had booked a table were staring, waiting for whatever was going to happen.

"Yes?" Darcy asked pointedly, very much used to his antics.

"Don't '_yes_' me sweetcheeks. Where did you stay last night?" he asked, sliding into the booth next to her and helping himself to what was left of the triple chocolate cake Darcy hadn't managed to finish.

"Why should I tell you?" she sassed back.

"Cause I've got fifty dollars riding on it and I made my stupid AI too good and can't override the privacy filters. So, I'll ask again, who's bed were you warming last night?"

Bruce coughed into his hand, his eyes automatically flicking down to Darcy's wrists. "I think I'm going to go find Wanda or someone and go to the yoga studio. It was nice having lunch with you Darcy," he excused himself and Tony got up and took his empty seat with ease.

"Who on Earth is betting with you about my sex life? Is it Clint?" Darcy asked with narrowed eyes. "Anyway, you're a billionaire. What are fifty measly dollars to you? You probably wipe your arse with twenty-dollar bills."

"Nope, hundred-dollar bills," Tony smirked as a waiter set a plate of steak and chips in front of him without a word. "And it's about principle baby girl, not about the money. Anyway, it's a teamwide thing now so... like a bonding thing."

"What!" she sputtered. "WHAT?"

"You are always going on about doing more things as a 'team' and as a 'family', so now we are. Tell me who you were with and I'll take you shopping," Tony bargained.

"What has Steve said about all of this?" Darcy asked, crossing her arms stubbornly.

Tony's eyebrows cocked. "Well, Caps out in the field so no word yet. Why does that matter so much to you unless you're banging our righteous resident octogenarian."

"Aren't they centenarians now or something," was all she said in reply. "Who's placed bets?"

"Well, me, obviously, the two birdbrains, Rhodey, Witchy, Foster, Lang. Caster in accounting and about a dozen SHIELD people. Parker refused to. Pepper is still deciding whether to participate or not. Happy has. Nat and Cap were out of action," he said quickly, using his fingers to count them all off. "Oh, Sue Storm and that stupid torch brother of hers were here this morning and placed bets although they're shit, but understandable as they're so new to the scene. Who else?"

"It's one in the afternoon, Tony, how have so many people-" Darcy's jaw dropped open. "Wait, you mean this is a big thing? Like an actual proper pool with real money?"

Tony looked at her as though she had asked if he was the real Iron Man. "Yeah, duh."

"Who started it?" Darcy asked, fearing that she already knew the answer.

"Well, Foster was saying that you hadn't slept in your own apartment for like three weeks and Clint had said something about you being more bubbly or something just as gross and Laura told Pep that she thought you were seeing someone and more often than not you look like you've been molested in the elevator, kiddo," Tony told her. "And you weren't in your apartment this morning when I came by to take you to breakfast."

"Why is it a big thing though? I don't even know Caster in accounts," Darcy whined.

"Cause it's pretty boring around here without the threat of Armageddon. This is just some harmless fun. Like when we had that pool about when Legolas would spill about his little ménages à trois situation."

"That was between just us though. We didn't have random people from SI and freaking Caster in accounts butting in Tony," Darcy argued.

"Yeah, because it involved Natasha Romanoff and Pep would kill me if I got murdered because of some stupid bet. Smart move having FRIDAY cut off your feeds by the way," he told her.

Darcy preened under the rare compliment. "I enjoy knowing that the video and audio feed of me having sex are not on my record or catalogued in some database."

"But that's half the fun," Tony joked and then he suddenly looked seriously at her. "Don't tell Pepper that! She'll kill me."

Darcy grinned wickedly at him as a waiter cleared away the empty plates and glasses. "Okay, only if you stop digging through the AI to find out who I'm sleeping with."

Tony frowned and glared at her. "No fair babe."

"Now you sound like Clint," Darcy laughed at Tony's incredulous expression. "Can we go spit sunflower seeds off of the roof again?"

Tony looked at her with a fond grin. "I'm going to win that bet honey, just wait."

Darcy smirked. "I don't think anyone will but sure, what the hell, go for it. Your stupid bet has my blessings."

* * *

The following day Darcy was at a bit of a loss. Jane was still sleeping off her three day Science! bender, as was Bruce, and Tony had been called away by Pepper to actually appear in front of some investors further upstate. Steve and Natasha were still in Mexico and Clint had decided to fly out to Italy to attend the art conference with Laura. Thor was off-world for a few weeks and she did not like trekking below the Avenger's floors of the Tower without anyone else. It was only because she was written into Jane's contracts and Jane lived with Thor on the sixty-seventh floor that she was even allowed to have an omega level pass in the first place. Well, that and the Avengers had become ridiculously fond of her. (And she was Tony and Clint's free passes but that was something else entirely.)

Peter Parker was new to the Tower. At eighteen, he'd been around for a while but he'd finally moved in permanently, just a floor below Tony and Pepper at the top of the building. He had his own lab just above Jane and Bruce's floor and Darcy decided to visit him, to see if he too was prone to forgetting to eat when in the Science! zone.

The elevator opened to reveal a messy lab full of webs.

"Holy shit," Darcy muttered to herself. She knew the kid was Spiderman but this was something different. "Hello?"

"Hello?" echoed the reply. "Don't touch the webs, they're hooked up to a Widow Bite," Peter said from somewhere deeper inside the lab. Darcy quickly withdrew her outstretched fingers. She definitely didn't want to electrocute herself.

"Hi! It's Darcy. Darcy Lewis. Jane's person. I was just coming to say hello and... holy shit, is that DUM-E?" she asked, spotting the small robot webbed up to the ceiling.

Peter appeared from the webs with a guilty look on his face. "Don't tell Mr Stark. He just came out of the elevator and began moving things. This was the only way I could stop him from electrocuting himself," Peter explained, scratching the back of his head. "Hi, I'm Peter by the way."

Darcy laughed. "I know. Mind killing the electric webs? I've got friends in high places and if I die I'm not sure you'd be able to walk it off," she joked and Peter nodded, ripping a Widow Bite off of the webs and letting them flutter to the floor.

"Sorry. I was testing how much electricity could... Wait-" Peter cut himself off, throwing a web behind him and hitting something that made the lab plunge into darkness. Darcy remained still as she listened to the kid whip around the room.

"I know you're Spiderman, chill dude."

"How?" came the reply.

"I'm Tony Stark's Pepper-Potts-approved free pass, dude. I know more about the Avengers than SHIELD do," she told him and the lights flickered back on. "But don't tell Maria Hill or Coulson that, they'd freak."

"You're Doctor Foster and Doctor Banner's assistant," Peter said, almost in awe. "Wow. Sorry. Hi."

Darcy laughed and wandered further into the lab and sat down on a rolling stool. "I'm technically the social media executive for the team but that's just so I'm on the payroll. I do that as a hobby but yeah, I guess I'm the resident 'Science Wrangler'."

Peter grinned and set down tech that was in his arms. "Tony said we're not allowed to be in the same room as each other without someone else present. Said it would be like when I'm with Shuri or T'challa but it would be in person, which he thinks will end up killing him or something," Peter joked.

Darcy grinned at the thought and then decided to dive straight into her chosen conversation. "Did you hear about the betting pool? Tony said you didn't participate."

Peter blushed and nodded. "This is the first time we've met and I don't want to piss off Captain America."

"Steve? What- what makes you think I'm with Steve? _Steve?_" she stuttered.

Peter raised one eyebrow, watching the way she twitched and fiddled with her long sleeves. "I didn't know you were but he's quite moral and I know you're good friends. My apartment is on the same floor as the Captain, Sergent Barnes and Mr Wilson. I see you in the hallway quite a bit."

Darcy's eyes widened and then narrowed. She'd never seen him. "Really."

"Well, its more like my AI does. Karen monitors where everyone is and she lets me know," he shrugged. "Can't turn it off, sorry."

"_It is programmed within my structural coding. It is there to protect you, Peter," _a soft voice echoed over the lab and Darcy instinctively looked up at the ceiling like she did when speaking with FRIDAY.

"You have an AI?" Darcy asked. She'd only ever interacted with FRIDAY in terms of AIs (as she didn't really count Vision as an AI. He was more like an advanced computer with a naive attitude) and if had been designed by Tony Stark, she wondered if it had the same personality traits. "Does she talk to FRIDAY?"

"_I do Miss Lewis but Mr Stark has recoded his AI several times to ensure that we do not converse for long," _Karen said.

"That's so fucking cool!" Darcy cried. "Oops. Don't tell anyone I swore around you."

Peter grinned at her enthusiasm. "No problem. Wanna try on the mask?" He threw a web over her head and slung it back towards himself, bringing his iconic mask with it. "I've got a comm in my ear pretty much all the time that kinda keeps me in control of the suit but if you put on the mask you can talk to Karen yourself and she's a bit more real in the suit," he struggled to explain.

"Really?" Darcy asked with wide eyes. She was holding the mask in her hands as though it would explode with any sudden movements. "Are you sure. Is it like Mew-Mew? Will I have to accept the responsibilities of being a crime-fighting spider if I put it on?"

Peter laughed deeply and shook his head. "Can you walk on the ceiling?"

Darcy's jaw dropped open. "Can _you_ do that?"

When Sam Wilson exited the elevator car an hour later, he stopped dead in his tracks as he assessed what was in front of him. Peter Parker was sat on the ceiling, dropping M&Ms into Darcy's mouth, her head half-covered by Spiderman's mask which had been rolled up so that she could catch the candy.

"Yo!" Sam called out, alerting the pair to his existence. "FRIDAY was told to tell you guys that dinners been made. We're all waiting for you."

"Sam! How cool is this... FRIDAY's quiet on this floor. She speaks to Karen and then Karen speaks to Peter," Darcy said excitedly as Peter stood up on the ceiling, his head coming level with Darcy's who was seated on the rolling stool.

"Hi, Mr Wilson, sir," Peter greeted him. "Karen, why didn't you say FRIDAY had called us?"

_"You and Miss Lewis were having fun Peter," _a soft voice said and Sam rolled his eyes. "Wait, Darce, while I've got you..."

Darcy stood up quickly, handing the mask back and trying to skirt around the Falcon. "Nope! Not telling you. Win or lose the bet like everyone else!"

Sam groaned. "What? How is that fair? Did you tell the kid?"

Darcy flicked him in the bicep and Peter reminded them he was eighteen as they turned and entered the lift. "No. I didn't. Peter's being a gentleman and is not even betting."

Sam looked at Peter's guilty face as the car ascended to the communal space. "Actually, I kinda placed a small bet about ten minutes ago."

"Come on, Lewis. We'll split the cash pot with you," Sam grinned, poking her shoulder several times until she batted his hand away.

"Traitor!" she pouted at the teenager.

Peter had the decency to look guilty. "I've been getting bombarded by texts from Tony about joining in cause it was a team thing and he said you had given it your blessing," he mumbled quickly, trying to defend himself. "Blame him!"

"I do," Darcy replied. She crossed her arms over her chest and then groaned in annoyance as that automatically brought both men's attention to the shirt buttons that were straining under the pressure. She dropped her arms to her sides once more with a groan.

"Have you seen the bets people have made? FRIDAY made some sort of online catalogue thingy. Tony said it was password protected and only you could see it until everyone's back, you know, to keep it fair and then we'll look at it on the weekend. I think he regrets it already. You might get a kick out of it," Sam teased as the doors opened and the trio were met with cheers at their appearance. Wanda finally began dishing up whatever was for dinner at their arrival.

"If any of you have put me with some idiot in SI then I won't be happy," Darcy said without any heat as they sat down around the large table as they laughed along with her. "This body is a VIP model. No lacky below the thirtieth level is allowed anywhere near these curves."

* * *

Darcy read through the bets on her StarkPad after dinner. She had excused herself and opted out of binging a TV show, preferring to returning to her apartment and running a hot bath. She had laughed and snorted at some of the guesses but one person had been right. There were three people in the Tower at that moment that she could think of that knew of her relationship. Two had placed false guesses. The other... they'd placed a very high price down alongside their correct answer.

"Damn," she sighed, sipping on her wine with a pout. "That's cheating."

* * *

Thursday morning was drizzly and the top third of the Tower seemed to be enveloped in dark clouds. Jane was sat in her lab, watching Darcy with the same concentration she usually reserved for the Asgardian fungus she was trying to grow as it has some sort of medicinal properties.

"What Janie?" Darcy asked without looking up from her magazine. She could feel the eyes on her.

"You've got a hickey," Jane said simply and Darcy's hand flew to her neck with wide eyes. "No, on your boob."

Darcy frowned and looked down at her cleavage which was slightly revealed in her v-neck jumper. "Shit." Darcy tugged on her bra and then the knitted material, trying to cover the tiny blossoming bruise that was no bigger than a nickel.

"So not Rodgers then. I don't think he'd be morally alright with leaving a hickey. Also, he's in Mexico. That rules Bruce out too," Jane theorised out loud. "You're too old for Parker and Clint's the most tied down man in the Tower. I doubt Tony would be able to keep up with the charade and I don't think you could actually follow through on your girl crush and sleep with Pepper so that rules her out."

"Are you done?"

"No. You don't know anyone SHEILD except that weapons guy. What was his name- Mack?"

Darcy grit her teeth. "Jack, and what are you doing? You already know and I've seen the bets. You didn't even try."

Jane shrugged her shoulders and slid a post-it over to Darcy as she passed her and grabbed her fungus samples.

_Stark bugged my lab. _

Darcy read the note and rolled her eyes. "Dick. Why he wants to win so badly is beyond me," she asked as she threw the post-it into the trash with a near-perfect arc.

"Nice shot. Anyone anywhere near close?" Jane asked. "Also does that look like a new colony?" she said, pushing the petri dish under Darcy's nose, gesturing to the furry golden spores suspended in the jelly in the dish.

Darcy pushed the dish away and shook her head with a wrinkled nose. "Firstly, ew, don't shove an alien mould in my face ever again, please. And secondly, only one person has got it right but they cheated."

Jane was squinting into the petri dish. "Laura?"

"Duh," Darcy sighed. She tilted her head and closed her eyes ever so slightly. "It wasn't that big last time, was it? You know what, I think it has grown."

"Really? So do I," Jane murmured. "Why did we not take pictures of the progress? How long had it been chilling on the work surface for?"

Darcy shrugged and picked up her magazine again. "Dunno. Maybe a month. Asgardian mould isn't really what we're paid to do here."

Jane snorted. "What are you paid to do around here?"

"Be the subject of stupid bets," Darcy quipped.

"Or warming the bed of-"

_"Miss Lewis, Doctor Foster, I am sorry to bother you but Boss has a transmission he would like me to play to you_," FRIDAY said interrupting Jane and making the two girls jump slightly.

Jane recovered first. "Go ahead FRIDAY."

"BARTON? How the fuck does Lady Barton know. Unless it IS Man Barton. Does Cap know? How has that bastard got three women to warm his bed? Oh my god, Darcy!" Tony's voice played through the speakers and Darcy rolled her eyes at how dramatic the man sounded. "Why did I programme the results for just you! God. Hundred grand sweetcheeks if you tell FRIDAY to give me access."

The women ignored him. Jane was scribbling something down in her battered notebook. "When does the bet end?"

"Saturday night I think," Darcy sighed. "It's a good job Laura's in Italy. I don't think I could handle watching Tony bribe her with money and other things."

"Fine. Two hundred hot stuff. You drive a hard bargain," Tony pleaded over the speakers.

"FRIDAY, will you stop Tony listening in on our conversations," Jane asked politely.

_"Certainly, Miss Foster, I'll see what I can do. I have also been asked to inform you that the Bifrost has opened in Central Park and that Mr Odinson is on his way to the Tower," _the AI said softly and Jane let out a slight squeak of panic. There were very few things to pull Jane out a Science! bender and Darcy was thanking every Norse God she could think of that Thor had arrived before another one could get underway.

"Really!"

Darcy clapped her hands. "Finally! Now can we go to that bar on forty-sixth?" she asked, clasping her hands together and pouting as her best friend hurridly pushed equipment away and tried to tidy the lab. "My sex life is the subject of an office bet and I need alcohol to cheer up."

_"Mr Barton and Mrs Barton are pulling up in the garage and were requesting the pair of you to accompany them to drinks. Shall I tell them you are otherwise engaged with Mr Odinson?" _FRIDAY asked.

Darcy's eyes lit up. "Clint and Laura are back! Cool, now we are totally going to that bar. Tell them we'll meet them in the lobby, FRI."

Jane smirked as she hunted through the clutter for her purse. "Fine but Thor is placing a bet before we leave and you're going to tell me all about what you did last Saturday night when we get there. No Stark bugs or SHIELD lackeys so I want all the sexy details."

"You're a closeted pervert Doctor Foster," Darcy teased as they left the lab and watched FRIDAY lock the floor up for the day. "You and Laura Barton are sex pests."

Jane laughed loudly at the statement. "You're my best friends. Its what we do. You make me tell you all about Thor-"

"Cause he's a freaking GOD, Jane!"

"-and Laura goes on about Clint and Nat," she continued as though Darcy hadn't said anything.

"They're world-renowned assassins, Jane!"

"Just don't let Clint or Thor listen in on you spilling your secrets or they might go all big-brother," Jane reminded Darcy as they elevator car stopped in the lobby and the two were greeted with the sight of Thor, still sparking small bolts of lightning as he stood, beaming and shouting his greetings in front of the bewildered receptionists.

"My Lady Jane! Sheild Sister!" the god cried, smiling wider and throwing his arms up, nearly sending Mjolnir through the glass walls in his excitement. "Now what is all this talk of a bet?"

* * *

The bar had been packed and the drinks had been flowing freely, as was usual when an Avenger showed up. Laura, Jane and Darcy had gossiped about their respective love lives whilst Thor and Clint had eaten their way through the bar's limited menu. Laura didn't drink spirits and both Darcy and Jane were just short of drunk and had danced most of the alcohol off before they had left and stopped for some fast food whilst they caught Thor up to speed with the bet and everything else that had happened in the two months he'd been off-world. Laura and Clint had slipped off early to visit another bar and when the trio had got back, Jane had ended up being carried through the Tower by Thor as Darcy said goodnight to the couple in the elevator as FRIDAY stopped them on their shared floor.

"Night Janie. Night Sparky," she giggled, watching as Jane threw up a drunken peace sign over Thor's shoulder as he had her in a fireman's hold. He grinned and patted the backs of Jane's thighs, a grumbling laugh echoing throughout the space of the corridor as she all but whimpered. FRIDAY held the lift doors open as Darcy made no move to exit.

"Goodnight sister," he smiled fondly. "Will you not be residing in your own rooms tonight?" he asked, half-heartedly masking is curiosity and hope. Thor was _loud_, Darcy could attest to that despite her bedroom in her apartment being the other side of the Tower, with Jane's usually empty one between them.

Darcy's mouth lifted at one side into a wonky grin. "Nah. Think I might go pay a visit to an old friend. You have your wicked ways with each other."

Jane twisted on Thor's shoulder so that she could look at Darcy. "We will. Work starts again Monday morning alright," she said, winking at her friend and grinning smugly. "Now go and have sex so that we can!"

FRIDAY closed the doors on Thor's gleaming eyes and Darcy groaned in complaint as she watched him slide Jane off of his shoulder with a predatory growl. "Oh my god. FRIDAY cut the audio and visual feed for that floor until Monday. I don't think anyone needs to see that."

_"Already done, Miss Lewis," _the AI said in a tone Darcy would have described as teasing. "_Should I place your privacy protocols on?"_

"Who's awake on that floor FRI?" Darcy asked. The elevator was already moving upwards.

_"Just your friend, Miss Lewis. The protocols?"_

Darcy began to shrug out of her sweater. "Sure, but could you make sure to send the video feed to someone. Is that possible? To send it to only one person and to make it private to everyone else? Could you send it directly to their email or phone without Tony knowing?"

_"Yes, Miss Lewis. I will transmit the feed live to his phone right now but I will privatise it from myself and the rest of the Tower," _the AI said and as Darcy unwound her french braid she could have sworn the AI was smirking if that was possible. "_I have also notified your friend about your arrival."_

Darcy smiled in amusement. She was already unzipping her jeans when the doors opened and she was pressed into the wall of the lift. Their lips locked and she was lifted from the floor, her legs wrapping instinctively around his waist as he walked them back towards his open apartment door. Darcy broke the kiss as whimpered as she felt his tongue and teeth nip and soothe her neck and collarbones.

"I owe you one FRI," she said breathlessly as they entered the dark apartment and headed to the bedroom without another word.

"_Any time, Miss Lewis_." Neither heard the AI respond out in the hallway as she silenced herself in their apartment.

As the sun was rising a few hours later, Darcy stretched her sore muscles as she rolled underneath the weight of a heavy arm and picked up her phone which was on the side table, flashing with a notification.

_Dirty move sending just the video feed. I'll be back in twelve hours and you will be punished._

It was one text and it made her bite her lip and cuddle herself back into the warm body at her side, her body thrumming in anticipation.

* * *

Natasha and Steve arrived back the following afternoon with little fanfare. The mission had been a quick and simple job and as soon as they had been debriefed on one of the lower floors and had made it to the penthouse common room, they were pounced upon by Tony.

Natasha strolled out of the elevator and accepted a kiss from Laura and Clint. The archer handed her a cold beer and they settled themselves on the numerous couches the rest of the team were lounging on.

"Pizza is five minutes away," Sam told them as he clapped Steve on the back.

"Who cares about pizza. Now that Capsicle and Mama Spider are back we can finally get to the good stuff!" Tony clapped his hands together as Pepper rolled her eyes at his side, not bothering to look up from her StarkPad.

"Darcy isn't here yet," she reminded him.

"FRIDAY, get Darcy up here STAT!"

Steve sat down in his armchair, happy that no-one had sat in his unofficial seat. Whilst the mission hadn't been tough, he was glad to be home.

"What's going on?" Steve quietly asked Bruce and Peter, both of whom shared a look. Steve frowned and looked over at Natasha who was looking at him like she knew something he didn't. She probably did.

"Darcy gave Tony her blessings for this stupid bet and we decided-" Bruce began.

"I decided," Pepper said.

"Yeah, Miss Potts decided that when you and Ms Widow got back we could find out who had won," Peter finished. "You and Natasha can place a bet before Darcy gets up here if you want."

"And what are we betting on, маленький паук?" Natasha asked, smirking around the neck of the bottle. No doubt Clint or Laura had already told her. Wanda was watching as though it were her favourite soap opera and she even shushed Vision when he opened his mouth.

Peter's cheeks reddened at the Russian nickname, still internally freaking out over the fact that the Black Widow had an affection name for him. "Uh... Mr Stark." Sam laughed along with Rhodey.

Tony sat up in his seat, arms held open like he was conducting an orchestra or a particularly difficult pack of the press. "Darcy is banging someone and so we made a bet to find out who."

Steve's eyebrows shot up into his hairline as the elevator doors slid open and Darcy wandered into the open plan room followed by Bucky.

"Did you know about this?" he asked his best friend, not caring about explaining himself any further.

Bucky looked down at Darcy as she squeezed herself in between Thor and Bruce. "Yeah, jerk. You gonna place a bet?" he teased.

Steve glared in response.

"Why don't we just look at the results and then eat pizza, get slightly drunk and watch a movie?" Darcy suggested. "Pep, can I borrow your StarkPad?"

The redhead nodded and handed it over, ignoring Tony's mutterings about never being allowed to use her things. Those gathered around watched as Darcy's fingers flew over the screen and then she threw the results up, allowing Tony's tech to project the results in front of them all holographically.

"Okay, let's see..." she hummed. The results were still encoded and she settled down to reveal them one by one. "Clint, Sam, Bruce, Peter, Tony and Pepper all said Steve," she read allowed and Tony and Rhodey high-fived.

Steve looked around the group. "You think I'm sleeping with Darcy?"

"Steve, sweetheart, it's pretty obvious. I can't believe anyone thought otherwise," Pepper told him as Steve looked at Darcy and then to his best friend.

"You are sweet on the girl," was all Bucky said, still standing behind the couches with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

"Thirty bucks from Castor in accounts who said Jane, the dirty perv," Darcy told them and Tony groaned. "Although don't get me wrong, I totally would, Jane," Darcy said, poking her best friend with her toes.

"Next time Thor's off-world," the scientist winked back and Thor, along with Bruce coughed into their drinks, making the girls laugh.

"Come on, move it along," Tony ordered, patting Bruce on the back.

"Wanda, Sue Storm, Scott, about ten SHEILD guys and Jane all said Bucky," she read aloud and the man just grinned wolfishly at her.

"Oh, so you're sweet on her too then?" Steve asked and Darcy rolled her eyes.

"Anyone else besides Cap, Barnes and Foster?" Sam asked, taking a deep sip of his beer.

"Yeah, someone said the Hulk but I think that might have been a joke one. Although he has put down twenty bucks," Darcy told them, squinting to read the results. "Some dude in R and D called McAllen."

Bruce looked mildly horrified and then burst into laughter. "Oh my god."

Wanda looked eagerly at Darcy. "So, did anyone get it right?"

Darcy nodded and dropped the tablet, making the holographic screen disappear. "Yes, one person did."

"Who?" came a collective answer.

"Come on hot stuff, don't leave us hanging," Tony prodded her with his finger.

"Well, Laura cheated but she technically won," Darcy sighed as Laura laughed.

"To be fair, most people got it half right," Laura replied with a coy shrug as Clint look at her in astonishment.

"You knew. Wait, did you both know?" he asked, pointing between Laura and Nat who had wrapped herself around Laura and was kissing her hairline. The two women just looked at the archer who groaned.

"Fuck. I'm being ganged up on by my wife and girlfriend," he complained.

"I would not be complaining if I was in your bedroom situation," Sam said smoothly.

"Woah, wait a moment," Peter said, "what do you mean half right?"

"Oops, sorry Darce," Laura murmured. From whatever Nat was doing, Laura didn't look too apologetic.

"Okay, so fine, most people got it half right. But I'm not sleeping with Jane or the Hulk," Darcy explained as DUM-E wheeled through the penthouse with pizza boxes stacked high in his grip.

"So you're sleeping with Captain America?" Pepper asked, accepting the slice of vegetarian pizza Rhodey handed her.

Steve's expression was unreadable. "Yes," he said, making Wanda audibly gasp as Peter made little fists and celebrated.

"Cool, twenty bucks!" the web-slinger said.

Tony wiped his mouth with his hand. "Hang on, that means that you're also sleeping with the Winter Soldier then too, right."

Bucky said nothing, just eating his pizza but his eyes were gleaming.

"Yes, I am," Darcy confirmed.

"Dude," Clint said, slightly in awe. "Do they know?" His question was met with a slap from Natasha and a pinch from Laura.

"Obviously," Bucky said.

"We took a page out of your book," Darcy told him.

Tony looked positively gleeful. "This is the best thing I've heard all week!"

Steve shifted in his chair and Bucky sat down on the arm. "You're taking this all extremely well. We didn't want to say anything in case it got weird."

Pepper looked at him with a tilted head. "Natasha, Laura and Clint are all together Steve, why would you, James and Darcy be any different?"

"Cause in our day, two guys weren't accepted," Bucky shrugged and Darcy got up from her place between Bruce and Thor and sat on Steve's lap.

The three seemed to relax into each others touch.

"Well, I always thought you and James were together and then I started noticing that Darcy kinda fit into that," Jane explained. "You know before she told me and Laura."

"Darcy's a touchy-feely person but when she began being very touchy-feely with Bucky I thought it probably applied to you too. Only have to watch one of you with her to and then with each other to realise its all a big thing," Laura shrugged once more as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And they say we're the best spies in the world," Clint chuckled.

Natasha sat up and wagged her finger. "I walked in on them once. Don't have to have powers of deduction then."

"When?" Steve asked.

"In the Quinjet after that Hydra mission in Beijing. I left a broken widow bite in there and I went to get it so that маленький паук could take a look at it but you three were already reuniting," she remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"The Quinjet!" Thor echoed with a frown.

Cef"Bejing! That was last year!" Sam cried out.

"How long has this been going on?" Bruce questioned.

"Since 1942," Steve said, gesturing between himself and Bucky.

"For about ten months," Darcy added, her fingers circling between them all.

"And you are happy, sister?" Thor asked with sincerity.

"Steve's away on missions for a couple of days a month but we make it work," she joked, leaning back into his chest. "I'm very satisfied."

"You'd hope so with two supersoldiers," Jane said cheekily.

"We make it work," Bucky said with finality as he gripped Darcy's neck affectionately. "When Stevie's away we cope."

"I know that from the video feeds," the supersoldier hissed, pinching Darcy's side and Bucky's thigh, making them both jump and swear.

"Oh god, enough foreplay. Let's eat, get drunk and watch a movie," Laura clapped.

"FRIDAY, make sure that those who lost cough up," Tony ordered the AI. "Send the money to Lewis and play a movie."

_"Certainly Boss. And Miss Lewis, those modified handcuffs have arrived. Happy signed for them and said he will drop them off tomorrow morning unless you would like to use them tonight, I can have an intern send them up," _The AI said and Darcy groaned, pressing her blushing face into Steve's chest.

"You outsourced some cuffs?" Tony asked, affronted.

Clint was grinning, wiggling his eyebrows. "We've got some you can borrow Cap." He caught Natasha's hand before it could hit his shoulder.

Steve looked up at Bucky's smug face and down at Darcy in his lap. "FRIDAY, send those cuffs to our room. Clint's too."

"Captain Bondage," Tony said out of the corner of his mouth to Bruce and Thor.

"Oh God, Tony!"

"Captain America there are children present," Pepper said through a laugh as Steve dragged Bucky to the elevator, with Darcy securely in his arms, pressed against his chest as Clint, Sam, Rhodey and Scott dissolved into peals of laughter whilst Peter and Wanda looked shellshocked.

"See you Monday morning, Janie!" Darcy called over Steve's shoulder as they entered the lift.

"Don't forget to stretch!" Laura called.

"Hydrate!" Natasha snickered.

"Have a snack break!" Jane added.


End file.
